Grief Knows No Boundaries

Grief knows no boundaries.

Sometimes we have friends on Linked In and on Face book and we do not know who they are related in the whole scheme of things.

We never ask those questions many times. We just know the people as they appear in our lives. Relatives may not even know who all

their relatives are because it never came up.

I was blown away when I read in this mornings paper who Robin Ongaro (who died in Greece) was related to in Duluth.

I have known her mother for years.  Her mom is a Woman Rock volunteer (along with her another of her daughters), and I ask her each

year to volunteer for the Sage Phone Bank. We talk about various things 1 or 2 times per year. I recently talked to her before this all

happened, as she is cancer survivor and is going through treatments again, and was going to come to my group. I personally think

this family has had too much grief through the years. This is when you say things are unfair.

The article in the paper on Robin was amazing.  She has done so much in our region.

I think we will never know where life will lead us, what will happen tomorrow. The funeral is on Monday (Oct. 1) at Holy Rosary.


Yesterday I got my copy of the Duluth Superior magazine in the mail. I opened it up to see a relative of my husbands in the

magazine with stage IV, metastatic breast cancer. My husband has never met her but we know her mother. An Anderson married

a Lufholm. This was one of Grandpa Charlies siblings who married a Lufholm  I looked at the picture of her and immediately

saw the Anderson in her face. I thought how unfair, she is 52 with mestastic breast cancer. She is so pretty, works so hard holding

down two jobs.


In December I created a Dr. Orien Anderson and Helen Heiberg blog

to document my husbands family online. I only spent 3 days on it. I have three boxes of information to

to put on this website and  CD’s of pictures to to upload. I have wanted to put this together once and for all,

so I can give away the pictures to relatives. (There are some errors that my sister in law, Kay Studley, from Duluth,

states need to be corrected. It may be next Christmas before I can correct the errors.) In the process after more

than six months I traced down relatives in Texas and Oklahoma. It turned out their grandfather was the editor of

the Duluth News Tribune at one time. I found that it is possible to trace down relatives. I sent three boxes of family pictures

and heirlooms to Oklahoma. I still have a box to send to Texas but I have not had time get it ready. We found out

there are more Anderson’s out there than we knew existed, cousins, second cousins, third cousins, fourth cousins.

I say, purge those heirlooms and family pictures while you are alive.  Yes and you should even write your own

obituary so your children don’t write the wrong information. It is surprising how family members forget the

details in your life as they get busy living their life. I think the Duluth News Tribune should have a format for

folks to fill out, suggestion sheets. I remember making up a simple template for a cancer patient who I knew

was going to die. She had wanted it.